So, like, yeah…
Where do I start? How about the fact that I’m in agonizing pain thanks to surgery I just had performed to repair a hernia near my left nut. That’s right, my left nut. Know what that means? No sex. No masturbation. No porn. No thinking about naked woman and getting aroused, period. Nothing. So this is what priests and nuns feel like. Must explain this picture:
I’m never taking my abs for granted again. Those bad boys are like a steroid fueled Lance Armstrong circa 1999-2005: they’re tireless and they just keep going and going.
On another note, writing… Yeah… With me restricted to the confines of my bed for the next several weeks or so, I figure now’s a good time as any to finish that great second novel I’ve been working on since, like, 1965. I vow to get it done. I have to. No excuses. I just gotta finish watching this movie I’m halfway through first…
Speaking of movies, I saw ‘The Wolf of Wall Street’ recently. All I’ve gotta say is that I have to up the ante for my next humor novel… and I gotta get rich doing so because I’m clearly missing out. I’ll pass on the drugs, though. Something about having to roll down a set of stairs in order to get to my car since I’ve become physically incapable of walking after having OD’ed on some expired barbiturates doesn’t exactly scream “dignified” does it?
I’m done blogging right now. My nuts are screaming from the burning pain and I have to go pee. Damn you, diuretics.